Home > Life and Writing, Life Is Messy > Day 12: Stop Living Someone Else’s Life!

Day 12: Stop Living Someone Else’s Life!


Today is about your younger self, and what one thing you know today that she didn’t have a clue.

The original Spiritual Badass herself, Amethyst Mahoney, had quite a discussion on her blog about the word “Authenticity.” It seems to mean something different to each individual. But I wondered how many people in their 20s and even 30s really know who their authentic self is, or is expected to be? Now, by ‘is expected to be’ I mean your place in the world, not who your parents or guardian expected you to become.

Let’s talk about men first. Men have it bad enough. They might be expected to take over the family business, or go to medical or law school because all the men in the family did. They might sadly hear the words, “you are the man of the house now” if their father dies unexpectedly, regardless of whether they are 8 or 18 at the time. And they pretty much get the idea early on that, with the women having the children and earning less money on average, they will be the major bread-earner in the home.

Women in the family represent someone different to every member of their families, both birth and marriage family. You’re Daddy’s little girl, which eventually translates to you’re not settled and happy until you’re married and taken care of. Your mother hopes for a better life for you with travel, plenty of money, and again, a good husband who can give you all this. Oh yes, her first question will be “When are the grandchildren coming?” You’ll be expected to know how to mother your children as well from birth. They will ask if your husband has learned how to change diapers yet after six months. Your husband will expect you to do everything his mother did for him plus. Your in-laws will expect you to get your husband to help them.

Bottom line is, your families, teachers, employers and employees, doctors, dentist, lawyers, accountants all have preconceived ideas of how you are supposed to act, react, speak and perform.

Here’s what I know today that I wish I could have time traveled to tell myself: Trust Yourself.

I might add, only yourself, up to a point. There will be good people in your life, cheering you on. Seek their counsel. The Universe will send you mentors, teachers, helpers. They will come and go in their own time. Take what they have for you and travel on.

Most importantly, listen to your intuition. If you feel compelled to do something and think you know how to go about getting it, do it. Do it independently, don’t expect someone else to finance it, but if it’s the right thing to do, you’ll find a way.

If something in your life isn’t working out, dump it, as soon as possible. You don’t gain anything by staying in place for another year. You lose … not only a year, but what you would have been doing during that year had you left. Time is your life. You don’t owe anyone or anything your life unless you’ve offered it because it’s right for you.

You only have so many years here, so do not waste them. Be sure to help those who fall under your guidance, then set them free.

Be free, happy, engaged, and purposed. As only you can be.

Experience Your Life!

This was my post for Day 12 of the MAGIC UP YOUR BLOG Challenge! Jump on board here: http://bit.ly/1oO4JB4 – We’re not half way through yet, so think of what you could get written!



  1. August 12, 2014 at 8:26 PM

    This is very true I wish to some degree I had known to trust myself and not try to please others so much however I am not sure I could have learned it quite so well without the lessons.


  2. August 13, 2014 at 12:52 AM

    Flipping heck, fancy telling me this so late in life when I could have used it 40 years ago. Why didn’t you time travel back and tell me? I know it’s not my life I’m living or I’d be filthy rich, charming, good looking and be married to the perfect woman- perfect in that she actually likes to play cards or trivial pursuit.
    Now I just think I’ve deprived a poor man of his rightful place.
    xxx Massive Hugs xxx


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